Sheila's Story

I was first put. on medication at the age of twelve. I took my first overdose at thirteen. I was first admitted to a mental hospital at the age of fifteen and for the next 20 years I was in and out of mental hospitals suffering from depression bulimia and panic attacks. I took several overdoses during that time. At times I was locked away in padded cells because I harmed myself. I have had more shock treatment than I can remember. So, the stigma was very strong with me.

Hospitalisations, shock treatment and medication all worked for a short time but the only thing that worked for me in the long-tern was my Recovery training and the meetings. After years of suffering, I joined Recovery 11 years ago.Since then I learned how to be self-led and not symptom led. I had always thought I was a "hopeless case" until I heard the Recovery spotting that there are "no hopeless cases.

Difficult ones yes, but hopeless no. I also got rid of the stigma and I have not been admitted to hospital in the last eleven years. I still suffer the occasional "lowered feelings" but thanks to Recovery I can now "fumble but function". For the past five years I have been living in the country with no access to any meetings.So I have to depend on my Recovery training and the odd five minute phone call to other members when I experience the setback.

I now have two children aged four and a half and three and a half. They bring me great joy and plenty of symptoms!! I finally got married last November at the grand age of forty-five. In the midst of my illness I could never have imagined any of these things happening to me. Before Recovery these events were beyond my wildest dreams.




Shared from Recovery Ireland

“When the will to effort is greater than the will to comfort, we get well.”

At Rosehill I was introduced to Recovery International [RI]. When I came home from Rosehill after nine months I remember trying to tell mom and dad about RI. We finally went to a RI meeting in Dallas and mom and dad were blown away.

The three of us decided to learn enough to bring RI to Denton in 2011. As we taught the RI method to others, they grew alongside of us. One person came all the way from being in her apartment all the time to driving to OK. Another person got a job while using the RI method. A third person got a sales job, became a boss, and was sent overseas to start an office there. A person that started using RI was pleased to go from a job he didn’t fit into to finding a job he really liked and his employer likes him. We have had several other successes like these.

A few of my successes have been finding a friend at RI, and working the program myself so that mom and dad can take a vacation without the worry of my freaking out. My parents finally had enough confidence in me to let me be alone for three days and to depend on friends when I needed help so they could go on a trip by themselves.

While my mom and dad were on their trip, I found ways of eating and to stay busy. My sister took me out to eat and took me along while she did errands she needed to get done. I enjoyed the time Kim spent with me. The next day when mom and dad were on the road home, I went out and had half a Ruben. I brought the second half home and when mom and dad got home, they ate it and went to bed. They didn’t want to do anything after 8 or 9 hours driving and I was OK with that.

My growth in the RI program has been slow but I have not only had growth in RI, but also in my maturity alongside of it. Before when I have had success in growing mentally, it has been followed by a slide backwards soon after. RI has been great in my steady growth forward with no slips back. I remember times a long time ago when I was scary to others because of my outbursts.

I have stayed out of the hospital for 5 or 6 years now and my maturity has not suffered. With the RI tools and spots, I can decide to stay calm for my benefit as well as the benefit of family and friends.

Thomas Fidler
Denton, Texas

Reflections From My Inner Environment

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I Want Things My Way:How the Recovery Method Helps

I get cranky and, frequently, it is because things aren't going the way I want, either within myself or with others. They are generally very trivial things but, nevertheless, get me hot and bothered, worked up and somewhat irritated. 

I use the Method to spot in various ways. I recognize that to be cranky is very average. I use objectivity to point out to myself that "My Way" is a bundle of inner contradictions or desires that all point in the same direction: I want permanent comfort and security. Dr. Low says this is average, too, ("It is human and natural to crave an easy life", page 218, Mental Health Through Will Training) but I can spot this as boiler plate romanticism and it would be exceptionality to have a life like that even though it is common to think that most others have it easier than we do. The Method gives me a clear response to this last point: the most exquisite form of spotting is to spot what I do not know. And I certainly do not know the depths of the inner world of other human beings. 

The outer environment doesn't exist for my benefit or anyone else's; I can spot self-importance in this regard. When I am cranky, there is, of course, angry temper but also fearful temper because, underneath, I don't like myself. So self-endorsement becomes important for me to cultivate. I command my muscles to slow down outwardly and use my "will to listen" within myself and take the focus off what is going on outside myself. I further spot that crankiness may have some elements of both fate and will because Dr. Low points out that you can see crankiness in the youngest infant which implies fate but I can also use the Method to place my will against fate and neutralize its effects. I then spotlight what is going well in my life and there are always many things that are if I have the will to self-honesty. Needless to say, crankiness is distressing but not dangerous. 

After I have spotted for awhile, everything starts to look better, both in my outer and inner environment. The change in attitude literally creates a different perception of reality; I experience myself and others in a more positive light. The Recovery Method provides the road for me to take. All I have to do is walk it.

Cliff Brown
Grateful Recoveryite

blogging behavioral: Recovery International: A Cognitive Tools Support Group

blogging behavioral: Recovery International: A Cognitive Tools Support Group

Recovery Stories

“I am so grateful for these meetings. I live with chronic pain, which took over my life. I spent more than two years not wanting to do anything because of the pain and the depression. I spent all my time lying down. My wife and my mother told me to come here, but I didn’t want to. Finally, I came, and it changed my life. I feel less depressed and find myself laughing more. By RI helping me they helped my family. I just want to say thank you.”.

-o

One of our RI members has been dealing with a lot of change in their life. First, they were told to vacate their apartment of 12 years due to a new owner. They couldn’t find housing that accepted section 8, but finally found a room at a local Single Room Occupancy place. After moving in, the member was assaulted by a bed bug infestation. There were many attempts to fix the situation before a treatment worked. Through all of this the member was able to maintain their mental health and to effectively deal with this in a positive manner. In former days there would have been a lot more temper against the outer environment. Today the member exercised a good measure of self-control and patience.

-o-

“Before I came to RI I had strong urges to drink alcohol, I was very disorganized with my thoughts, it was hard to concentrate and I was nervous and had palpitations. Since I started in RI Discovery it has helped me to stay level and not be as jumpy, by practicing the spots the urges to drink are gone. I’m able to calm my racing thoughts with reminders that ‘if you can’t change a situation you can change your attitude towards it.’ I have also found it helpful in my interaction with others. I have fearful thoughts at times of my boyfriend not paying his half of the rent or going out and drinking when he knows I am in recovery. By sharing my examples in RI Discovery and using ‘decide, plan and act’ I am able to catch myself and call my sponsor, watch TV, or call a friend for emotional support instead of isolating myself and feeling shaky.” -o



Before Recovery, a day like today would have made me check into the hospital...now I just drive by it!

How Recovery Can Help

Helplessness is NOT Hopelessness

After several bouts of depression and treatment I was spiralling downward. Every set back left me feeling less capable of a normal life until finally I couldn't force myself to get out of bed in the morning to go to work and many of my once close relationships were strained. I found myself on sick leave from work.


My body and muscles felt tired and heavy in spite of the fact I was spending extended periods laying in bed.

I was feeling totally defeated and life felt completely hopeless.

I was determined to find help; I reached out to my family Doctor and contacted the Canadian Mental Health Association. It was here at a counselling session that I was given the information about Recovery Canada, a self help group that met at our local library. I attended the very next meeting and the rest as they say is history. I left that meeting with hope, if others like me could now live peaceful and productive lives maybe my case wasn't hopeless after all.


I attended meetings regularly and learned one cognitive behaviour tool at a time and applied them as best I could. I learned about self endorsement (giving yourself a mental pat on the back) for every effort regardless of the outcome and not to criticise myself when I didn't practice them perfectly.

I read Dr Low's books and learned that when the brain defaults the muscles can be commanded to take over, the fatigue I was feeling was in the brain not the muscles. The method is simple but not easy, it required effort but we try, fail, try, fail, try succeed. We have set backs but we never go back to where we were before we were.

I can hardly relate to the person I was 4 years ago today, I can stop my racing thoughts, I can go to work everyday, my relationships have improved, I have the courage to make mistakes. I highlight my gains and blindspot my failures. I will always be an apprentice, never a master but I will never again be alone with the illness. I now have the knowledge that taught me what to do when my symptoms raise their head and I know that when I apply the tools I have learned I will overcome them.

North Star, Brampton, Ontario